Our Revamped Routine System!!!

Consider yourself forewarned. This post will not interest everyone. It might interest no one, actually. But we're very excited about it, so here comes a big, long post on the topic of Chore Charts and Allowance in the Folding home.

For the past five years I have been in the process of creating a system that would work well for us as far as getting the children to go about their days without me perpetually telling them every next thing to do like Drill Sergeant Mom. Blech. I do not want to live that way. Maybe it’s because we homeschool that this way of life became so detestable to me ... like, maybe if the children were gone all day I wouldn’t mind the bossing so much, but I tell ya, I got to where I hated the sound of my own voice! Endlessly telling them what to do all day long (the same stinkin’ stuff every.single.day!) had me to the point that I hardly wanted to say anything *else* to them the rest of the day! Exhausting! Relationship-draining! Horrible way to live!

[When I think it through, if N & J were at school all day I would STILL hate the constant “Air-Traffic-Control Mom” mode I would be in before school and through the evening; I’m convinced we’d still be where we are today, just adjusted for the differences in lifestyle....]

So, although I don’t wish to constantly vocally direct them, I remain an enthusiast about making sure children actually doooo *what* they’re supposed to be doing, *when* they’re supposed to be doing it!! I believe it’s a part of the life ‘training’ they need, per Prov. 22:6 ... with the goal being that they become more self-directed as the years go by.

When Natasha was six and Justus was three I started them using age-appropriate versions of Flylady’s morning and evening routine list. Justus, of course, couldn’t read yet; I took a picture of him doing each task, and printed it on his sheet. (SO CUTE!) The kids’ routine lists have always included basically the same tasks as the other’s, but because there are some differences, I have always printed each child his/her own. At that time their Morning Routines included: Make Bed, Get Dressed, Put PJs in Hamper, Comb Hair (not on J's, obviously), Eat Breakfast, Brush Teeth. Night Routine: Put Toys Away (This was almost always supervised/teamwork, 'racing' a timer set for 15 min.), Lay Out Tomorrow’s Clothes, Bath, Dirty Clothes in Hamper, Brush Teeth, Bible Time, Potty.

One important key is that I must discipline myself to not get fancy with the actual writing/printing of the routine lists for at least four reasons. First, it would be a waste of time ‘cause the routines change surprisingly often - about every 2-3 months, I’ve found. [Our routines change when a kid learns a new skill, or I realize there’s something else that should be included, or we figure out the tasks should be listed in a different order, or a kid requests something new be put on the routine list as a reminder for him/herself, etc.] Second, the purpose is to streamline life, not complicate it. Third, if I spend too much time/energy on creating the routine lists *this* time, I will likely postpone doing it *next* time, to everyone's detriment. K.I.S.S., right? Keep It Simple, ‘Stupid’. ;) Finally, this way it’s completely painless to toss the old one when it’s time to move on; yes, (eye roll) leave it to me to get sentimentally-attached to a ROUTINE LIST!

The computer stores for me a document that I edit and print as needed, a simple list on plain white paper, plain.old.boring. I always print two copies of each kid's routine. One copy hangs by the light switch in the appropriate bedroom for his/her convenience; the other copy of each goes on the fridge ‘cause in our house that’s the most central, often-visited location ... “The kitchen is the heart of the home,” and all...

In an effort to get them into a rhythm of keeping their rooms picked up, one of their routine items is another Flylady spin-off. Every day they have to spend “NO MORE THAN 15 MINUTES” (We are EXTREMELY dependent on timers!!) doing their “Zone Work” for the day. By the end of the week, they are usually down to spending only 1-2 minutes on it because they've been working in that zone all week. Zone Work goes by week of the month. Week 1 (however many days it may be...) they work on their flat surfaces: the top of their nightstand, dresser, and desk. Week 2 they clear the floor under their furniture (bed, dresser, desk). Week 3 they work inside their dresser and closet, pulling things out that need to go away, re-organizing, etc. Week 4 goes back to the flat surfaces: nightstand, dresser, and desk tops. Week 5 revisits the floor under their furniture. Now, because Natasha is such a different creature than her BO brother (Flylady lingo for “Born Organized), at her request a year ago I added to her routine a separate item: “Pick Up Room”; this is her reminder to put her dirty clothes in the hamper (not an item on her routine list anymore), make sure her shoes are put away, pick up trash off her floor, put away items she’s no longer using, etc. All of that comes more naturally to Justus; he “sees” it and doesn’t like it there, so he picks it up as he goes without thinking about it, basically.

A similar rotation directs them for ‘chores’; we call it their “Household Service”, basically one per kid per day, that they can do in 5-10 min.; piece of cake. This list changes a lot, as skills develop, with a move (trash pick-up schedule), etc. Right now ours looks like this. Sunday: trash & recycle dumpsters to the street. Monday: bring dumpsters back to the house; also on Monday they are to dust their room, ‘cause Tuesday they have to vacuum their room. Wednesday Justus has to completely pick up and organize the Family Room (fold and put away the blankets, put the couch cushions back on right, put away any toys, put all movies/games back in their cases, etc.) and Natasha ‘skate-mops’ the kitchen with a wet mop-towel under each foot. (We are neither ‘proper’ nor necessarily particular about doing it perfectly, as you can tell...!!) Thursday is grocery shopping day, so their service that day is to bring in the bags from the car and help put groceries away. [This is a bit of inconvenience for me, actually, but I know it’s great for the long-run because they *do* learn their way around the kitchen this way ... what we store in the house fridge, garage fridge, and in each cupboard; it comes in handy when the kiddos are cooking, 'cause they know where everything is!] Friday and Saturday are really busy days for us so I put the less-necessary chores on those days so it’s no big deal if we don’t get to them, except Justus’s on Friday ‘cause he totally has time to get his done, which is to empty the 5 small trash cans from around the house into the big kitchen trash, and put fresh sacks in them; Natasha’s is to sweep the deck (on the dry days of three seasons of the year, anyway!). Saturdays the kids sweep the garage and the front walk.

All of this worked rather well for us during those younger years. Basically it kept *me* on track, and there were no surprises for the children. They knew what to expect, and since we were simply following their printed routine list, occasionally one or the other would *gasp* do an item without being told!! HOWEVER, two things have recently motivated me to overhaul the system.

First, I still found myself reminding them (especially distractable-Natasha) to, “Stick to it!”, “Focus!”, “What’s next?”, “Move along!”, “Where to now, Blue?” This has been ssssssso annoying because although I wasn’t having to tell them *what* to do, I still ... especially for Natasha ... had to STAY.ON.HER.to keep making forward progress. She’d sit and stare at the ceiling all day if I let her! And it’s not like I don’t allow some down-time in the day, but this girl could fritter away a whole month and not realize it’s gone. Justus is Mr. Pleaser, so along with being a BO, as a rule he stays ahead of the game. Wwwwwow, ssssso different from his sis in this way.

Second, a long time ago Jeremy and I decided we 'someday' wanted to provide a bit of money to our children every month so we could give them hands-on experience in their financial training. As with most every other family I’ve heard discuss the ins-and-outs of an allowance system, we found ourselves between a rock and a hard place … wanting them to EARN the money, not have it just GIVEN to them, yet we don’t want them to do their work in the house just to earn money ... 'cause we also want to be training them to have the heart of a servant...! For one thing, ‘not doing it’ isn’t an option in this home!! You live here where it’s dry and comfortable, you have food when you’re hungry, and nice clothes to wear...? You better be workin’, ‘cause life’s not a free ticket.

A few months ago we came up with a plan. First, we totally forbade “screen time” between 11am-3pm; not that screens are *always* on all other times, THANKFULLY THEY'RE NOT, but 11am-3pm screens are off-limits. We decided to pay $.01 per routine item done, but we’ve recently increased it to $.02 per item done. Here is the trick: they have to do their work whether they get paid for it or not. They get paid for it ONLY when they have it done before a certain time. Certain things have to be done before breakfast, for example. We figure maybe we can teach them some time management at the same time we let them earn money so we can teach them financial management! ?! Sometimes our day’s schedule doesn’t allow them to get everything done; this is fine and they neither do the item nor get paid. If, on the other hand, there is plenty of time in the day for them to accomplish a task and they disregard it, wasting the time, (This is a recent development, borne of necessity.) *they* have to pay *us* $.03 of what they have earned that day. [Never had to do this yet...! Hmm, seems we might have stumbled upon a behavior ‘currency’ ... ha, literally!] Similarly, if they don’t complete a task, but move on as though they had completed it, they didn’t earn the pay. (We’ve not yet had to penalize for this, they just don't get the $.02.) The best example of not completing a task is that when Natasha is through practicing piano, as part of that ‘task’ she is required to clean up the piano practice scene entirely 'cause she practices after Justus every day. Some days she’ll only put away the books and push in the bench, leaving the light on, the key cover open, the assignment notebook and pencil out. So, when I come along and notice it I tell her, “You made beautiful music today, but you lost your pay for this item today; come now, and complete the task.”

There is also a ‘carrot’ at the end of the routine chart for each kiddo. Justus’s is that, come 3pm, IF his routine is done, he can have screen time; this coincides well with Jeremy’s arrival home from work as well! Yay! Natasha, however, would rather fritter, it seems, even than work toward computer/video game time!! One thing she does like to do, though, is e-mail her church friends. She gets to do this for “max. 15 min./day”, and I moved it to the very end of her routine list, having changed the rules so now they have to do their routines IN.ORDER (with only APPROVED variations allowed on a case-by-case basis).

Next hurdle was that the list was somewhat confusing for the kids ‘cause some days they would have trouble remembering what they had done that day ... “...or is it yesterday’s work I’m thinking of?” etc. I didn’t have it set up as a check-list; I’ve wrestled over a year with how to do this, that wouldn’t be a total mess (I tried dry-erase), and/or a waste of physical resources, and/or take up a ton of space, and/or require waaaay more time/energy/involvement on MY part (which is NOT part of my plan – ha!). For example, I could print up a new sheet every.single.day, but ... oof, the paper and ink and time!! After much, and I do mean MUCH deliberation and research, pondering our system and poring over many other families’ systems (like Managers of Their Homes, Sue Patrick's Workbox System, and many others) compared with our family’s needs and idiosyncrasies, I came up with an idea to try. OHMYGOODNESS, DING-DING-DING-DING-DING!!!!! It TOTALLY WORKS!!!! I’m so excited about it I had to share!! :)



The picture above shows my first/rough draft ... which the children have GREATLY ENJOYED, go figure!!! (Please 'see' my expression of puzzled incredulity!!) Of course *I* liked their routine charts when they were clean & fresh, before they drew/erased/scribbled all over them(! lol), but both kids are super happy about getting to ‘decorate’ them as they desired, which actually I respect and am ultimately happy about.

It required a total of four pieces of card stock. Awesome. Four pieces. lol I printed N’s routine on one half of the first sheet (landscape orientation), Justy’s on the other half, then tore the halves apart trimmed them, and then stapled each printed, trimmed, half-sheet onto a plain half-sheet at certain places to create little horizontal ‘pockets’ for the item slips to slide into from the right (‘cause they’re both right-handed). [I had to hold the chart against a Kleenex box and staple into the box for most of those staple spots, and then fold down the staple ends by hand, ‘cause they weren’t right at the edge of the paper, ya know!] The top pocket holds the Morning Routine item slips. To make the item slips I just printed the same routine list in a little bigger font on a separate sheet of card stock – In the bigger font it took one whole page for each kid’s routine. – and cut each item out, in long rectangles.

As you can tell by my hand-written “Done” and “Skipped” pockets, these were not-quite-an-‘afterthought’, but I’d already printed the routine sheets and decided to deny my natural perfectionism by not re-printing them when I could just as easily write it on there! Originally I planned to have the whole lower half be the “Done” folder, but then it dawned on me that it would be SUPER HELPFUL, now that I’m making the kids do their routines in order, if I made a “Skipped” pocket for those items that, on occasion, can't be done in order. An example of this is if the clean dishes in the dishwasher aren't completely dry by morning (I run it at night.), I prefer the children to go on down their routine list and come back to empty the dishwasher later. It allows the routine chart to keep on workin’ for them, even reminding them through the day that they still do have to do this item that was skipped and still has to be done.

Also hand-written (truly an afterthought) are the numbers on the right end of the item slips. This turned out to be a key to making the charts run smoothly ‘cause it makes it super-simple for N & J to figure out which item they’re on; it also simplifies the re-setting of the chart for the next day.



Another after-thought is the calendar (freeprintablecalendars.net). I wanted the children to be the ones to put forth the effort (I do.not.need.more to do, and they need the responsibility and excitement/motivation!) to keep track of the money they’ve earned. So once they finish their last item for that day, they write the amount they earned today on the calendar, and then re-set their Routine Chart for the next day. If I can't read what they wrote, they don't get paid for that day. Puh-LEASE, lazy/sloppy ... gr!

Here is what the side of the fridge looks like, then.



You can tell it's all a work in progress; that's fine, 'cause that's where we're at with it right now ... ALTHOUGH ... I think we'll be sticking with this, 'cause it's working so great for us!!! :) I am ssssssso super-pleased with it that I can seriously imagine using this basic system for the rest of our life-with-kids.... Natasha may use it the rest of her entire life(! lol); Flylady talks about how extremely helpful it is for the more creative-minded “SHE” (Sidetracked Home Executives)-type, right-brained people (not to mention kids and adults alike who suffer from ADD, ADHD, and Autism-spectrum disorders) to think this stuff out ahead of time and get it written down to help direct themselves! Great stuff.

At the end of the month is their payday. I prepared for each kid an old 1/2" thick 3-ring binder filled with pre-printed pages I designed with simple blanks for them to fill in which month's income they're managing on this page, how much their income was that month, how much they decided to give to the Lord (min. 10%), how much they decided to place in their "Long-Term Savings" (min. 10%) ("Mom, what's this for again?" "Your children's inheritance," I tell them only half-joking!), how much they choose to place in "Short-Term Savings" (min. 10%) (With a spot for them to write what they're saving for; Natasha is currently saving for flippers!!), and how much that leaves them for spending money. The page also has a place to bring forward last month's savings totals, so they can do the addition to figure out how much their savings is now, for verification with the amount in their savings envelopes. In each binder is an envelope for each savings category (not enough for the bank yet...); they each have a small coin purse to keep their giving money in their Bible bag/backpack, and then their spending money in their wallet. Their spending money so far has been spent on things like gum, birthday/Christmas gifts for family members, or ... of course ... the odd strange toy in the check-out line.... Come payday I break down their pay into manageable bills/coins, and sit with them while they manage it. They like to give 'whole amounts' at collection time, so they invariably decide to round up so they can give, for example, one quarter every Sunday of the upcoming month, as opposed to fussing with smaller change. Both of them are also a-l-w-a-y-s saving more, for each category, than our required minimum. INTERESTING.

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So, that's basically the end. However, in case you’re curious, or it would be helpful information for ya, for the record our kids’ routines look like this, today.

Justus’s Morning Routine: Make Bed, Put Away Clean Laundry (I finish/fold laundry at night….), Get Dressed, Wash Glasses, Take Out Trash, Empty Dishwasher (He & N split this task; she puts away everything he can’t reach.), Process Recycles (organize them into the dumpster as the recycle company requests…), Sweep Kitchen. Yes, he does all of that every day before I get up…. Does he do it perfectly every day? No. But almost always he does it all well, and when it’s really, honestly, not good enough, he is instructed to do it better later in the day; so far he receives no penalties for this because it happens so rarely that it seems not to be an attitude problem or even a bad habit, just an occasional dropping of the ball.

Then, after breakfast: Practice Piano, Brush Teeth, Fold Laundry (They fold the majority of our “whites” and “dark towel/underwear” loads. I pull out Jeremy’s and my underwear for discretionary purposes, and fold/put away the full-size bath towels.) (He & Natasha split this task as well, usually doing it together while they BELT IT OUT with Acappella on the CD player.), Read 20 min., Read Bible, Math Page, Handwriting Page, Zone Work, Household Service.

Natasha’s Morning Routine: Make Bed, Put Away Clean Laundry, Get Dressed/Fix Hair, Wash Glasses. [Yes, Justus, Early Bird like his daddy, has way more to do before breakfast ‘cause he gets up way earlier than N & I do; he eats specific, healthful “breakfast snacks” and does a bunch of his work early … that he’s too worn out to do later if he doesn’t get it done then.]

After breakfast, N is to Rinse Breakfast Dishes, Wash the Table, Empty Dishwasher, Load Dishwasher, Brush Teeth, Practice Piano, Fold Laundry, Pick Up Her Room (10 min. max), Read Bible (15 min. max), Daily Devotions (from a devotional book we bought), Math, Handwriting, Household Service, Zone Work (15 min. max), E-mail (15 min. max).